That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
Ketchup is God's man juice
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
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