It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
how does that bad decision feel?
Randomize