Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
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So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
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she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon