wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.