how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"