Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
I just want to make out with him forever
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!