Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
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