They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
Randomize
