How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
Randomize
