the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
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