I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
there is puke in my bra ... again
Randomize
