We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize
