I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
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