When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Randomize
