I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
Well we were just driving down the street, there was a realtor and a couple walking up the porch of a house for sale, mark sticks his head out, opens his mouth to say something, pukes all down the side of the car, pauses, and yells "THIS IS A PHENOMAL NEIGHBORHOOD YOURE GONNA LOVE IT"
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
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