I want to stick my p in your. b.
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
it's like heaven, but drunker
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
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