The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
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