he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
Randomize
