Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
Randomize
