Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
Randomize
