She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
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