before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
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Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
jump out the window naked night went bad
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