so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
Randomize
