u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
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