I think i peed on brittanys purse
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
Randomize
