i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
Randomize
