So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
Randomize
