So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
Randomize
