sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
Randomize
