One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
Randomize
