I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
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