I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
I'm bleeding and have questions
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
Randomize
