Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
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