well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
Randomize