We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
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