Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
Randomize
