I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
Randomize
