no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
Randomize
