Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize