I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
Randomize
