at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
this must be what syphilis tastes like
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
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