Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
Randomize
