If i come over, it means nothing
Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
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