the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
Randomize
