all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
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