It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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