who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
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we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
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It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?