Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
Too much gin, very little bucket
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
These 25 People Forgave their Significant Others for Saying Stupid Things
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....