She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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