and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
Randomize