I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
Randomize
