i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
Randomize
