I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
I think weed is turning my hair brown
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
