Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
My legs feel like baby dolphins
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
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