what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
Randomize
