I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
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