I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
Randomize
