I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
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